Why natural hair is like a growing child

Having been natural for a while now, I have come to the conclusion that being natural is not unlike being a mother.

When you first do your big chop, you are scared and clueless on how to care for natural hair, kinda like a first time mum. You read everything from blogs to books, and watch lots of videos on how to raise your baby (your hair in case you are not following).

With time and a lot of trial and error and perhaps some sleepless nights, you learn how to take care of it. When it’s still little, all it needs is some water, conditioner and oil, then pick it with an afro pick and you are ready to leave the house within 5 minutes.

Then comes the terrible twos and threes and fours..months that is. This is that awkward stage where she is neither long nor short and she kind of wants to do her own thing, but doesn’t quite get it right. At this point you begin to question your decision on having the baby, but your love for her is overwhelming and you can’t bring yourself to part with her. She throws tantrums and pretty much does whatever she wants and knows that mum will still hug and kiss her no matter how naughty she has been. You experiment with her a lot at this stage, trying to figure out what will make her happy. You discover that she likes to eat healthy and drink lots of water.

As she gets taller and fuller, she starts acting like a typical teenager. She thinks she has everything figured out. Styles never seem to come out like you thought they would, she becomes completely unpredictable. She frustrates you, but you still love her dearly, sometimes you have to punish her by grounding her; you wear the botched twist out or braid out in a puff or hide it under a scarf, away from sight, until you have cooled down enough to deal with her. You keep her indoors and hope that she will grow from the experience. This gives her some time to think about what a bad girl she’s been and will hopefully learn from her mistakes. And when she is eventually let out again she is a little more grown and is generally slightly better behaved.

Years 1 and 2 she is in her late teens, she has curves in all the right places and even the boys begin to notice her and other mums look at her with envy and admiration wishing she belonged to them. She can curl, coil, wave, and even dance in the wind with ease. She is beautiful and she knows it. She has her moments of rebellion but dealing with her is a whole lot easier now. She still needs to be protected and she realizes that mum knows best. Her behavior is a little more predictable at this point.Mother/daughter relationship has evolved a lot, and you understand each other better.

Eventually she blossoms into a beautiful woman, even you never knew she would turn out this amazing. She is tall, confident and voluptuous and everyone wants to touch her. She knows how to act and is mostly predictable. She can come out and party like a rock star and can also be as shy as a violet. She still throws tantrums once in a while, but all she needs is a little love and attention. She is now mature and settled. She can lie down if you want her to or stand up in confidence, the choice is yours mama!

She will however always have issues and needs patience when you are trying to help her solve her problems. She seems to get herself in knots and tangles every once in a while and a little drink seems to help her mellow out and she unravels herself without much effort.

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4 Responses to Why natural hair is like a growing child

  1. Giovanni Hale says:

    I am making a transition to wearing my naturally longer hair as a male. I have spent many years in the military and found cutting my hair into short cropped looks no longer agree’s with my current journey. Though I gather this was written with a female audience in mind, I took allot from it and wanted to thank you for the great article.

  2. violet wangu says:

    Hi Giovanni,
    Thank you for stopping by. The article was not necessarily written for a female audience, rather from a female perspective. I am glad you enjoyed reading it and I hope growing your hair is as adventurous and fun as it has been for me!

  3. nicholettie says:

    I loved what you put out . This really makes you look at being natural different now. I will be one year this Nov. But this July is two years of being relaxer free. I looked back once with my twa. Now that i have 9 in of growth I love they way my curls look. I love that i can put tham in different styles. I am 28 and it took me 15 years to see my beauty. LOVE BEING A NATURAL.

  4. Mary says:

    Interesting post. I love you’re conclusion about natural hair. Thanks for sharing this article. Way to go.

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